Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming................
This scene from Finding Nemo Plays over and over in my mind this morning as I am taking several deep breaths. Hayden had one 45 minute screaming tantrum and one 25 minute screaming tantrum because he wants fruit. Mainly he wants the half of banana that he usually gets in the morning. I am proud of myself in one aspect and of the tantrum and want to do better in another aspect with the tantrum.
The aspect that I am proud of is that I remained super neutral and told Hayden that when he is screaming I can not understand him and he can just tell me in a normal voice. Hayden then told me in a very calm voice, "I want a big banana in the garage." (we keep the bananas in the garage because Hayden is super limited on the amount of fruit he can have) I then explained why he can have the banana. "Hayden, my sweet love we can no longer have fruit because it hurst your belly and I want to help you be as healthy as possible," I said. This led to more screaming and I let him know that he can choose to be happy about not having fruit and that the screaming will not change anything.
The aspect that I want to do better at is owning and being okay with the fact that Hayden can not have fruit right now because the sugar in the fruit feeds the yeast in his sick digestive system. A part of me feels bad for my little man and a part of me is PISSED off that my child can not eat half a banana a day with out humping the crap out everything in site. Yes, a half a banana makes my child hump things. It amazes my just how sensitive Hayden is. When I examine my beliefs about Hayden eating fruit I ask myself does having the belief that I feel bad and pissed off for him help Hayden or myself? Is this belief serving me in anyway? The belief that I am sad for Hayden not eating fruit is only causing myself and Hayden discomfort. Hayden is super sensitive and feeds off our feelings and emotions. I can choose a new belief about our fruitless and honeyless situation. I am going to believe that by taking fruit and honey out of Hayden's diet that I am DOING the best I can do for him to become healthy. I can believe that I LOVE him so much that I am going to removes things from his diet and environment that are harming him. I am also going to remind myself that this is only temporary and the harder I work now the more likely it is that Hayden will be able to eat a well rounded diet in the fruit that includes some grains and fruit.
So here I am doing my best to help my child heal and grow to his best potential. I would love for you to send good vibes our way and to one other person in your life that is dealing with a difficult situation.
Happy Wednesday Everyone :)
XOXO,
Brandi
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Pieces of Us: November Update...choosing to drop the judgements!...
Pieces of Us: November Update...choosing to drop the judgements!...: Where has November went??? Where ever November went it is coming to an end quickly!!! November 2012 has been a fun, fast paced, life chang...
November Update...choosing to drop the judgements!!!
Where has November went??? Where ever November went it is coming to an end quickly!!! November 2012 has been a fun, fast paced, life changing month for us. I traveled to The Autism Treatment Center of America for the final training class in the Son-Rise Program.
The class I attended was New Frontiers and it was as equally amazing as the other two that I have attended. Every class / training I attend I dig a little deeper inside myself. My big work continues to be to drop my judgements of myself and others and LOVING big. I am making some great progress with being nonjudgmental and loving big. When I realize that I am judging myself or judging others I stop myself, take a deep breath, and asking myself..."by judging this situation how is it serving me?" I really pause and digest that question. In all honestly I am doing my best and that is all that maters. I use to think that when I was judging myself (or beating myself up over something) that I was motivating myself to do better. The truth is I can choose to be happy and accept that I am doing my best and do it again. I model this concept for my sweet little Hayden in the playroom all the time.
Hayden use to get super upset when his legos did not do what he wanted. Our team and myself have modeled several times how fun it is that we get to keep trying and choose to be happy. Hayden has made some real progress with things not going his way. He rarely tantrums anymore and has fun trying.
Here is a great book to read if you want to understand and put this concept into your life:
http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Choice-Barry-Neil-Kaufman/dp/0449907996
I am no means perfect and yes there are times that I choose unhappiness and discomfort. Those times have come to a minimum. When you think deep down about it what does being unhappy or angry do for you. Does it changes the situation? Does it make you feel good?
Hayden continues to make great progress daily :) Hayden's Son-Rise Team has been working hard the last month at deepening Hayden's connection to us. We have done this by backing off on the requests we make from him. He is coming to us now way more and is super invested in the games we do together. By backing away from requesting we have given Hayden back full control of the playroom. Super proud of Hayden and our team!!! It was a bit challenging to back away from our requests but we did it!!!
Hayden also made significant progress with tantruming and whining this past month. As a team we stopped accepting language that is screamed, whined, and shouted at us. Instead we tell Hayden we don't understand and tell him that he can just speak in a normal voice. WOW!! This technique has worked like a charm :) It amazes me how much Hayden understands and responds to what we are saying to him. It's like a flick of the switch....Hayden is screaming, we tell him we don't understand and he can just ask in a nice voice, and he totally tells us using a sweet voice with that amazing little grin he has on his face. Thank you intensive team for bringing this issue to my attention!!! We have ran with it :)
We had a fabulous Hayden's Son-Rise Team meeting last week!!! Here are the notes from our team meeting with all of the activity ideas for the next month:
The class I attended was New Frontiers and it was as equally amazing as the other two that I have attended. Every class / training I attend I dig a little deeper inside myself. My big work continues to be to drop my judgements of myself and others and LOVING big. I am making some great progress with being nonjudgmental and loving big. When I realize that I am judging myself or judging others I stop myself, take a deep breath, and asking myself..."by judging this situation how is it serving me?" I really pause and digest that question. In all honestly I am doing my best and that is all that maters. I use to think that when I was judging myself (or beating myself up over something) that I was motivating myself to do better. The truth is I can choose to be happy and accept that I am doing my best and do it again. I model this concept for my sweet little Hayden in the playroom all the time.
Hayden use to get super upset when his legos did not do what he wanted. Our team and myself have modeled several times how fun it is that we get to keep trying and choose to be happy. Hayden has made some real progress with things not going his way. He rarely tantrums anymore and has fun trying.
Here is a great book to read if you want to understand and put this concept into your life:
http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Choice-Barry-Neil-Kaufman/dp/0449907996
I am no means perfect and yes there are times that I choose unhappiness and discomfort. Those times have come to a minimum. When you think deep down about it what does being unhappy or angry do for you. Does it changes the situation? Does it make you feel good?
Hayden continues to make great progress daily :) Hayden's Son-Rise Team has been working hard the last month at deepening Hayden's connection to us. We have done this by backing off on the requests we make from him. He is coming to us now way more and is super invested in the games we do together. By backing away from requesting we have given Hayden back full control of the playroom. Super proud of Hayden and our team!!! It was a bit challenging to back away from our requests but we did it!!!
Hayden also made significant progress with tantruming and whining this past month. As a team we stopped accepting language that is screamed, whined, and shouted at us. Instead we tell Hayden we don't understand and tell him that he can just speak in a normal voice. WOW!! This technique has worked like a charm :) It amazes me how much Hayden understands and responds to what we are saying to him. It's like a flick of the switch....Hayden is screaming, we tell him we don't understand and he can just ask in a nice voice, and he totally tells us using a sweet voice with that amazing little grin he has on his face. Thank you intensive team for bringing this issue to my attention!!! We have ran with it :)
We had a fabulous Hayden's Son-Rise Team meeting last week!!! Here are the notes from our team meeting with all of the activity ideas for the next month:
Meeting Notes:
Pausing: give Hayden at least 8 seconds or longer to respond. This will allow Hayden time to process his thoughts and say / or do what he wants and does not want.
Windows: A new boundary with keeping the windows closed has been established. Let Hayden know that we want to keep him healthy and safe. When we have the windows open it can cause him to get sick. Ask that Hayden close the windows himself. Give him two chances.
Celebrating: Continue to celebrate, celebrate, celebrate every single word, every eye contact, every look, and any acknowledgement (looking at what you are playing with, taking what you are playing with).
Training: Maximum Impact is April 21st-26th. I would LOVE for each of you to go. If you are interested let me know ASAP.
GOALS:
Motivate Hayden to Look at Others to Start or Continue an Interaction
-Become Santa using voice or sing Christmas Songs
-Reindeer and Rudolph--red nose
-Christmas Decorations (tree and stockings)
-Christmas Songs--add movement
-Christmas Tree--ornaments
-Jingle Bells
-Christmas Finger Puppets
-Slapstick Humor
-Christmas Songs--change voices
-Have a big dice that has colored paper with pictures of motivations on each side.
-Bee Puppet stings you and Hayden. Have big exaggerated slapstick humor with the stings....use lots of big movements.
-Make a Cars Photo Album or Collage
Encourage Hayden to Use Greetings (hello, goodbye, see you soon, etc)
-Model Greetings exaggerated
-Say “Hi” using animals
-Cars and Puppets using greeting to one another
-Excitement and Exaggeration over greetings when changing workers in the room
-Putting Figures on Popsicle sticks (cars, etc) to model greetings
-Use a cereal box to make a house with door to use puppets, figures, cars, etc going in and out using greetings.
-Use Puppets to model greetings to one another
-Have Cars drive around and meet people. Have pictures of familiar faces around playroom and greet everyone. Place the same colored squares on the floor and move to the color that was rolled on. Have a prize for the end of the game
-Have Hayden run a race (around slide) and greet people
-Build a carwash out of a big box and use greeting to the workers...have Hayden dress up as a car and you as a worker
-Make a big doorway out of boxes and have different people, cars, or puppets answer the door. Model greetings and give tickles.
-Have 4 places set up in room with people to meet and give tickles after each greeting
Support Hayden to Increase Interactions to 4 Times or More an Hour
-Build by bringing new item instead
-Create Places and roads to places (houses, visit doctor)
-Make Lorax
-Building on Books and Songs he Enjoys
-Hats and Glasses
-Walk in as a Character
-Make Big Tree and Put on Wall
-Paper Chains
-Feather Duster that tickles him
-Hayden’s House of Motivation...on a poster board put 6 houses that have motivating characters behind the doors. On each house have instructions on how to get the cars or characters out of the house. Or have keys hidden around the playroom hidden around the playroom
-Make big pictures of us and different hairstyles out of construction paper and yarn. Have fun giving haircuts. Hayden allows us to cut his hair but does not enjoy it. So super model how cool it is to get a haircut
-Feeling Box....place objects of interest and non-interest in box and have Hayden stick his hand in a hole to feel for the object
-Use a kiddie pool and place foam squares in it. Place pictures of interest in the bottom of the pool and have Hayden swim to find the pictures.
Motivate Hayden to Allow Peripheral Variations in His Rigid and Repetitious Behaviors
-Fireman and Policeman Dress-Up
-Hopscotch out of Tape
-Songs
-Running Around Building, bridge, town
-Use Hats Puppets, Scarves, mustaches
-Build on his pattern of play by incorporating different things with the cars (car wash, go to the movies, take a bath, go to Grammie’s
-Make up song that has dress up clothes incorporated in it
-Cars go to Santa’s workshop and help Santa prepare for Christmas
-Family and Friends Mix Up....take pictures of family and friends and cut them in half. Have fun being silly and putting the family parts on different family members.
Motivate Hayden to Eat a Larger Variety of Foods and Stay Hydrated
-Bring a drink and express thirst
-Model and Celebrate when he does drink or eat
-Plant a garden with lots of fun foods and have the puppets, cars, and ourselves eat them
Ideas on How to Build Running Around Slide
March around Slide
Puppets run around slide
take train ride around slide
walk, jog backwards, crawl, scootering
pull around on scooter board
going on bear hunt song around slide
create running safe zone with tape
instruments and singing while walking
pretend to skate and skip
Ideas on How to Build on Playing and Looking at Pixar Cars
-Cars save someone....women with broken ankle in middle of street
-Ship cars somewhere to be repaired
-Paint job---tape, glue, color, add accessories
change the cars tire
-fill up with gas and pay for gas at gas station...great time to model greetings
-cars get thirsty and need to get a drink....great time for Hayden to get a drink
-fill up with the wrong gas and cars get sick to stomach..great eye contact game
-Tune up cars between two friends modeling relationships
-Bring Cars Rug in Playroom
-Make the Cars have gas and need to toilet (make toilet to take in playroom)
-have the cars talk in different voices
-Give the Cars mustaches and hats to wear
Activities Using Ping Pong Balls
-Make Character Faces on Ping Pong Balls (cars, friends, puppets, lorax)
-Make a wind chime with the balls out of tape
-Have Puppets eat the ping pong balls and poop them out
-Place the ping pong balls on a scarf and throw them in the air
-Tape ping pong balls to myself and pretend they are tumors that need to be removed
We have had a great month of November and are super excited for Christmas. Hayden has been talking about Santa and Frosty quite a bit the last couple of weeks. Santa is delivering and Elf on The Shelf this week and I am going to have some great fun with that :)
Hayden is exhibiting signs of yeast overgrowth again. I am going to take fruit and honey back out of his diet, start daily hbot, and give him grapfruit seed extract. Yeast has been an ugly battle for us. I am upping our game ;)
Big LOVE to all of You :)
Brandi
Monday, November 5, 2012
Red Flags
I have been thinking about our "early" years with Hayden recently. I have a friend that has a two year old son that has sensory processing disorder. I have been listening to what she is going through and helping her help her son. The things she talks about brings back so many memories for me. At 18 months Hayden was "diagnosed" with Sensory Processing Disorder. I say "diagnosed" because we didn't seek out official diagnosis, this is what the early intervention team felt he had (which I completely agreed with them). I had to fight with our pediatrician at the time because she felt nothing was wrong with Hayden and we should just wait it out and see. I pushed forward and requested that early intervention evaluate him.
Tonight I decided to look through old pictures of our sweet little Hayden. This quickly put me in tears. All of the red flags and warning signs were there. I thought I had dealt with my past decisions for Hayden but I as I looked through the pictures I did a fabulous job of beating myself up. "Why didn't I see this as a problem / abnormal," I thought to myself as I looked deeply at the pictures through my tears. "Why did I listen and trust his/mine physicians......Why did I feed him CRAP food?" "Why did I expose him to so many unnecessary toxins?"
I know that I was doing my best at the time but I still beat myself up. I still deep down blame myself for Hayden being autistic. All of this could have been prevented. Wow.....I really thought I had deep down accepted and dealt with my feelings of being responsible for Hayden being autistic. Guess I have some work to do :)
I do my best to raise awareness about autism and give people hope for their children. Autism is completely preventable and curable. I am going to share a list of red flags that I observed in Hayden early on.
1) Would not walk barefoot outside of the house and would cry hysterically if put in grass. It was not a typical cry it was this is painful cry.
2) Could not handle any adjustment to his routine. If we were not home for nap time there would be hell to pay the next several days.
3) Spit up and vomited on a daily basis.........this is NOT normal and it is NOT genetic!!
4) Eczema.........again NOT normal and NOT genetic!!
5) Constant runny nose.............don't be okay with this......find out what your child is allergic too
6) Dark circles under eyes.........indicates a child in poor health and is NOT okay
7) Pooping every other day...........everyone should have formed, sinking poops 1-2 times a day.
8) Crying and melting down over everything
9) Playing independently the majority of the time
10) Prefers to be in a room by themselves
11) Can not stand to be messy.....cries in a way that you think they are in pain
12) Does not want or seek out cuddling
13) constantly in motion seeking out crashing into things
14) Fear of nothing
15) High pain tolerance
16) Lining up of objects
17) Not playing with toys appropriately.......watching wheels on cars spin vs. driving cars around
18) Instant meltdowns in unfamiliar surroundings full of people
19) Covers ears constantly and seems to be sensitive to loud noises
20) When you walk into a room and your child does not notice you
21) Flapping of the hands
22) Tip toe walking
23) Super limited diet
24) Does not respond to name
25) Does not speak or communicate
26) Does not gesture
27) No or limited eye contact
28) Does not appeared interested in people only interested in objects
29) Flat facial expressions, rarely smiles
30) Has a "drunk" laugh or appears to laugh for no reason
31) Wakes up in the middle of the night screaming hysterically and is very "un-reachable" This was absolutely horrible. I thought he was having seizures of some kind
32) Tantruming 90% of the day.
33) Sleeping less than 10 hours a night
Yes, even with this long list of red flags our pediatrician did not think there was anything wrong with Hayden and we should wait it out.
THANK YOU GOD I did NOT wait it out and I did NOT follow her advice at all!!!! The earlier you intervene the easier the recovery is going to be. The longer you wait the more toxins and damage is being done in your child's body. Yes, you can still recover a older child from autism. It just takes more work to reverse all the damage.
Hayden is doing amazing, in fact I feel we are all doing amazing :) He no longer has any sensory issues, in fact he only still has one of the red flags on that list and it is very mild almost a non-issue. Hayden is healthy, thriving, and absolutely glowing.
Tonight I decided to look through old pictures of our sweet little Hayden. This quickly put me in tears. All of the red flags and warning signs were there. I thought I had dealt with my past decisions for Hayden but I as I looked through the pictures I did a fabulous job of beating myself up. "Why didn't I see this as a problem / abnormal," I thought to myself as I looked deeply at the pictures through my tears. "Why did I listen and trust his/mine physicians......Why did I feed him CRAP food?" "Why did I expose him to so many unnecessary toxins?"
I know that I was doing my best at the time but I still beat myself up. I still deep down blame myself for Hayden being autistic. All of this could have been prevented. Wow.....I really thought I had deep down accepted and dealt with my feelings of being responsible for Hayden being autistic. Guess I have some work to do :)
I do my best to raise awareness about autism and give people hope for their children. Autism is completely preventable and curable. I am going to share a list of red flags that I observed in Hayden early on.
1) Would not walk barefoot outside of the house and would cry hysterically if put in grass. It was not a typical cry it was this is painful cry.
2) Could not handle any adjustment to his routine. If we were not home for nap time there would be hell to pay the next several days.
3) Spit up and vomited on a daily basis.........this is NOT normal and it is NOT genetic!!
4) Eczema.........again NOT normal and NOT genetic!!
5) Constant runny nose.............don't be okay with this......find out what your child is allergic too
6) Dark circles under eyes.........indicates a child in poor health and is NOT okay
7) Pooping every other day...........everyone should have formed, sinking poops 1-2 times a day.
8) Crying and melting down over everything
9) Playing independently the majority of the time
10) Prefers to be in a room by themselves
11) Can not stand to be messy.....cries in a way that you think they are in pain
12) Does not want or seek out cuddling
13) constantly in motion seeking out crashing into things
14) Fear of nothing
15) High pain tolerance
16) Lining up of objects
17) Not playing with toys appropriately.......watching wheels on cars spin vs. driving cars around
18) Instant meltdowns in unfamiliar surroundings full of people
19) Covers ears constantly and seems to be sensitive to loud noises
20) When you walk into a room and your child does not notice you
21) Flapping of the hands
22) Tip toe walking
23) Super limited diet
24) Does not respond to name
25) Does not speak or communicate
26) Does not gesture
27) No or limited eye contact
28) Does not appeared interested in people only interested in objects
29) Flat facial expressions, rarely smiles
30) Has a "drunk" laugh or appears to laugh for no reason
31) Wakes up in the middle of the night screaming hysterically and is very "un-reachable" This was absolutely horrible. I thought he was having seizures of some kind
32) Tantruming 90% of the day.
33) Sleeping less than 10 hours a night
Yes, even with this long list of red flags our pediatrician did not think there was anything wrong with Hayden and we should wait it out.
THANK YOU GOD I did NOT wait it out and I did NOT follow her advice at all!!!! The earlier you intervene the easier the recovery is going to be. The longer you wait the more toxins and damage is being done in your child's body. Yes, you can still recover a older child from autism. It just takes more work to reverse all the damage.
Hayden is doing amazing, in fact I feel we are all doing amazing :) He no longer has any sensory issues, in fact he only still has one of the red flags on that list and it is very mild almost a non-issue. Hayden is healthy, thriving, and absolutely glowing.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Intensive, Biomedical Changes, and the UPS and downs of recovering from autism!!
Well, well, well here I am again on a Friday night blogging :) I have lots of updates and lots of ideas running through my head. I am going to come clean and confess why I have not blogged about Hayden and the program recently.
The truth is the month of September and the first part of October proved to be a challenge for us. We have had several changes with our team and Hayden has been getting around 30 hours a week of therapy. Starting next week we ramp back up to 60 hours a week. These changes are not bad just different and was a bit of an adjustment to juggle and plug everyone into the right hours to work with Hayden. One of our team members is actually starting a Son-Rise Program for her grandson. I am super excited and happy for her and her grandson.
The biggest challenge has been the change with Hayden. The months of July and August we seen HUGE, MIND blowing progress. He hardly isimed (repetitive behavior), he became super social, he hardly tantrumed, and his language and eye contact exploded. In September I noticed Hayden starting to isim more and then he started giving less eye contact. I was slightly concerned but felt the most ease I have ever felt when Hayden has regressed. The second week of October we traveled to Son-Rise for Hayden's intensive. While we were there Hayden isimed 90% of the time in the playroom and was only speaking in 1-2 word phrases. I am not going to lie that was hard for me to swallow.
I actually became very upset when the Son-Rise teacher presented the developmental model they plotted Hayden on early in the week. I was absolutely CRUSHED.........all the handwork we have done......all the progress Hayden has made and the teacher told me they were putting Hayden at a stage one for eye contact. Then I got pissed.......I mean how can "they" evaluate my son fairly at a strange place, and him working with complete strangers.
I am actually chuckling at myself as I type this. What I came to realize and understand is that Hayden is doing his best, I am doing my best, Brandon is doing his best, and our team is doing their best. The Son-Rise Intensive Team evaluating Hayden to be at a stage one for eye contact does not change how amazing Hayden is nor does that "number" represent all our handwork and effort.
What that "number" is, is where they evaluated him at and what they are basing his goals for the week of off. It does not, nor did it change anything besides the fact that we have really amped up our game for motivating Hayden to give eye contact.
Our Intensive well was INTENSE!! I have NEVER wanted to run away from something so much in my life. The biggest change in Hayden's program has been to stop requesting so much from him. We have pretty much stopped requesting (except when appropriate) at this point and have been working hard on celebrating, celebrating, celebrating, and more celebration of Hayden :) We are also giving a lot more to him. Hayden has been super responsive to this and we are getting a much deeper connection from him.
The super biggest change since we have been home has been Brandon and I's relationship. We had become just room mates in passing over the last year. Brandon works second shift and has his rentals to deal with during the day. I work 12 hour shifts on the weekend. When I am home during the week I am running Hayden's Son-Rise Program, making all our meals from scratch, managing all of Hayden's biomedical needs, the housework, and taking care of my sweet little girl. I am not complaint about my responsibilities at all.....just saying what I do :) The problem is that Brandon and I pretty much have zero time together.
We have completely put our marriage on the back burner. Ahh.....so NOT the thing to do. We communicated through text messaging and Facebook. We have been working hard at correcting this and have actually started communicating face to face. I discovered why I judge Brandon so much. It is because I judge myself.
The truth is Brandon is an amazing husband, fabulous father, and an all around great guy. He is doing his best each and every day. I love his even temperedness, I love his sense of humor, I love his laugh, I love how hard he works for our family, and I love watching him with our children. Brandon has grown so much in such a short period of time.
One of my biggest issues with Brandon prior to our Intensive was his lack of help in the mornings. I use to get so pissed at him!! Mornings were hectic for us. Hayden use to wake me up demanding I make his fresh pressed juice, before the juice was done, he was barking at me to make him a yogurt smoothie, then he wanted his breakfast, and paints, and toys, and who knows what else he would demand at me. Then somewhere in there Ruby would be waking up and wanting things as well. It was rough because I let it be rough!!!
It took a few days at our Intensive for me to realize the Brandon is doing his best and that I CAN do all the things in the morning with out him. I also got some great ideas on how to work with Hayden on his demanding behavior and how I can be at ease in the mornings.
I must say it has worked like a charm!! I no longer dread the morning. Hayden no longer barks orders at me. I actually take my time making the things Hayden wants in the morning or I don't even make them at all. If he has to wait......he has to wait. It is his choice to be happy about it. It didn't even take a full week to adapt to our new morning routine. Mornings have been peaceful for us. This morning Rub was upset about something. Hayden actually said to her, "You can choose to be happy Ruby." Ruby did not appreciate Hayden's statement and choose to be un-happy. I celebrated Hayden big time :)
So why did I not want to share Hayden regressing (which I totally don't view regressing as a bad thing)?? Mainly because I was working hard at being with peace with it myself. I was confused on what to do and how to handle it. I didn't want anyone feeling bad for us or loosing their faith in Hayden (which I know these are all silly beliefs now).
Hayden is pretty steadily getting back to where he was in August. He has actually become quite social outside of the playroom. He has been playing with Ruby for hours at a time. Having typical sibling arguments, constructing a ton of original sentences, and making a ton of statements. Tantruming has been less and less :) Woot....WOoT!!!
I have been working my way back on the biomedical trail since July. Hayden has not been on any new supplements since December. Last week I started a different Fermented Cod Liver Oil for him. This week I started giving him GABA. New week I am going to increase the dose of GABA and hopefully the week after that I am going to start him on grape seed oil. We should get his methylation pathway lab results back in about 9 weeks.
The truth is the month of September and the first part of October proved to be a challenge for us. We have had several changes with our team and Hayden has been getting around 30 hours a week of therapy. Starting next week we ramp back up to 60 hours a week. These changes are not bad just different and was a bit of an adjustment to juggle and plug everyone into the right hours to work with Hayden. One of our team members is actually starting a Son-Rise Program for her grandson. I am super excited and happy for her and her grandson.
The biggest challenge has been the change with Hayden. The months of July and August we seen HUGE, MIND blowing progress. He hardly isimed (repetitive behavior), he became super social, he hardly tantrumed, and his language and eye contact exploded. In September I noticed Hayden starting to isim more and then he started giving less eye contact. I was slightly concerned but felt the most ease I have ever felt when Hayden has regressed. The second week of October we traveled to Son-Rise for Hayden's intensive. While we were there Hayden isimed 90% of the time in the playroom and was only speaking in 1-2 word phrases. I am not going to lie that was hard for me to swallow.
I actually became very upset when the Son-Rise teacher presented the developmental model they plotted Hayden on early in the week. I was absolutely CRUSHED.........all the handwork we have done......all the progress Hayden has made and the teacher told me they were putting Hayden at a stage one for eye contact. Then I got pissed.......I mean how can "they" evaluate my son fairly at a strange place, and him working with complete strangers.
I am actually chuckling at myself as I type this. What I came to realize and understand is that Hayden is doing his best, I am doing my best, Brandon is doing his best, and our team is doing their best. The Son-Rise Intensive Team evaluating Hayden to be at a stage one for eye contact does not change how amazing Hayden is nor does that "number" represent all our handwork and effort.
What that "number" is, is where they evaluated him at and what they are basing his goals for the week of off. It does not, nor did it change anything besides the fact that we have really amped up our game for motivating Hayden to give eye contact.
Our Intensive well was INTENSE!! I have NEVER wanted to run away from something so much in my life. The biggest change in Hayden's program has been to stop requesting so much from him. We have pretty much stopped requesting (except when appropriate) at this point and have been working hard on celebrating, celebrating, celebrating, and more celebration of Hayden :) We are also giving a lot more to him. Hayden has been super responsive to this and we are getting a much deeper connection from him.
The super biggest change since we have been home has been Brandon and I's relationship. We had become just room mates in passing over the last year. Brandon works second shift and has his rentals to deal with during the day. I work 12 hour shifts on the weekend. When I am home during the week I am running Hayden's Son-Rise Program, making all our meals from scratch, managing all of Hayden's biomedical needs, the housework, and taking care of my sweet little girl. I am not complaint about my responsibilities at all.....just saying what I do :) The problem is that Brandon and I pretty much have zero time together.
We have completely put our marriage on the back burner. Ahh.....so NOT the thing to do. We communicated through text messaging and Facebook. We have been working hard at correcting this and have actually started communicating face to face. I discovered why I judge Brandon so much. It is because I judge myself.
The truth is Brandon is an amazing husband, fabulous father, and an all around great guy. He is doing his best each and every day. I love his even temperedness, I love his sense of humor, I love his laugh, I love how hard he works for our family, and I love watching him with our children. Brandon has grown so much in such a short period of time.
One of my biggest issues with Brandon prior to our Intensive was his lack of help in the mornings. I use to get so pissed at him!! Mornings were hectic for us. Hayden use to wake me up demanding I make his fresh pressed juice, before the juice was done, he was barking at me to make him a yogurt smoothie, then he wanted his breakfast, and paints, and toys, and who knows what else he would demand at me. Then somewhere in there Ruby would be waking up and wanting things as well. It was rough because I let it be rough!!!
It took a few days at our Intensive for me to realize the Brandon is doing his best and that I CAN do all the things in the morning with out him. I also got some great ideas on how to work with Hayden on his demanding behavior and how I can be at ease in the mornings.
I must say it has worked like a charm!! I no longer dread the morning. Hayden no longer barks orders at me. I actually take my time making the things Hayden wants in the morning or I don't even make them at all. If he has to wait......he has to wait. It is his choice to be happy about it. It didn't even take a full week to adapt to our new morning routine. Mornings have been peaceful for us. This morning Rub was upset about something. Hayden actually said to her, "You can choose to be happy Ruby." Ruby did not appreciate Hayden's statement and choose to be un-happy. I celebrated Hayden big time :)
So why did I not want to share Hayden regressing (which I totally don't view regressing as a bad thing)?? Mainly because I was working hard at being with peace with it myself. I was confused on what to do and how to handle it. I didn't want anyone feeling bad for us or loosing their faith in Hayden (which I know these are all silly beliefs now).
Hayden is pretty steadily getting back to where he was in August. He has actually become quite social outside of the playroom. He has been playing with Ruby for hours at a time. Having typical sibling arguments, constructing a ton of original sentences, and making a ton of statements. Tantruming has been less and less :) Woot....WOoT!!!
I have been working my way back on the biomedical trail since July. Hayden has not been on any new supplements since December. Last week I started a different Fermented Cod Liver Oil for him. This week I started giving him GABA. New week I am going to increase the dose of GABA and hopefully the week after that I am going to start him on grape seed oil. We should get his methylation pathway lab results back in about 9 weeks.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Pieces of Us: Hayden Draws a Monster......GAME Alert :)
Pieces of Us: Hayden Draws a Monster......GAME Alert :): I decided to make a game out of one of Hayden's favorite books. Jeremy Draws a Monster by Peter McCarty is an excellent book. I borrowed t...
Hayden Draws a Monster......GAME Alert :)
I decided to make a game out of one of Hayden's favorite books. Jeremy Draws a Monster by Peter McCarty is an excellent book. I borrowed this book from the library because it looked like a cute story. Little did I know that it related to Hayden's life. The book is about a little boy that looks out the window at the other children playing soccer outside. Jeremy never goes outside to play with the kids he just watches them. One day Jeremy decides to draw a monster. He draws the monster and he demands that Jeremy draw him all sorts of things to feed him and entertain him. The monster decides it is to time to leave and leaves. He comes back that night and sleeps in Jeremy's bed. Jeremy decides to draw a suitcase, bus ticket, and a bus for the monster because he has had enough of the monster. The next day he sends to monster on his way and goes out to play with the children.
I relate this book to Hayden because of his autism he use to be only in his own world. He never played with other children until recently. Hayden's autism is the "monster" it has taken chasing the toxins, pathogenic bacteria, heavy metals, yeast, and parasites out of his body, and the proper therapy (Son-Rise) to show him how amazing the world is.
Hayden has not seen the book yet. I will present it to him Monday morning during our play session :)
I relate this book to Hayden because of his autism he use to be only in his own world. He never played with other children until recently. Hayden's autism is the "monster" it has taken chasing the toxins, pathogenic bacteria, heavy metals, yeast, and parasites out of his body, and the proper therapy (Son-Rise) to show him how amazing the world is.
Hayden has not seen the book yet. I will present it to him Monday morning during our play session :)
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| The hole in the page is for me to stick my face in while we read and act out the story :) |
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| I printed pictures of all Hayden's first cousins to be the kids |
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| All the things the monster demands are on velcro and will be attached to the playroom while prior to reading the book to motivate the use of language and gesturers |
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| Hayden playing soccer with all his cousins. |
Super excited to play this activity with my little man :)
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