Sunday, May 20, 2012

What about Ruby??

I often get questioned about how Ruby deals with Hayden getting a great deal of attention.  When I was pregnant with Ruby I often questioned if having another child was the best decision and what kind of impact would it have on Hayden.  I put way to much energy and time making myself upset over something so silly.

The truth is having Ruby is one the best things that has ever happened to any of us.  She truly is a ray of sunshine that makes us all laugh, smile, and shake our heads.  You just never know what is going to come out of my very direct, speaks her mind, sweet little girl's mouth.

In a very dark moment in motherhood for me she showed me that I am not a failure as a parent.  Ruby is the best little sister to Hayden.  She is patient and understanding.  Ruby joins him in his activities and invites him to play with her.  Ruby also models how amazing it is to be able to communicate verbally.  She is an excellent mentor to him and loves him with all of her heart.  I can't even tell you how incredible it is to watch my children play together.  Their favorite game is wrestling.  They roll around on the floor tackling one another laughing the entire time.

When we first started Hayden's Son-Rise program I was concerned that Ruby would feel left out and not get the attention that she deserves.  My concerns couldn't be farther from the truth.  Ruby has special friends that come and play with her while I work with Hayden.  When Hayden is in the therapy room with his team Ruby gets one to one Mommy or Daddy time.  I feel that she gets more focused time now.

There have been a few times that she has become upset that Ba-Ba (Hayden) gets to play in the therapy room and she does not.  I tell her that Ba-Ba is sick and needs the extra help.  I also let her know how great it is that she is healthy and does not need the extra help.  Ruby is usually fine with that answer and we go on and play or she helps me with house work.  A couple of nights ago Ruby got up after Hayden went to sleep and she seen that he was asleep in my bed.

Ruby asked to sleep with me too.  I took a breath and told Ruby that she is a big, healthy girl so I want her to sleep in her bed.  She looked at me.  I then told Ruby that Ba-Ba is sick and that is why he gets to sleep with Mommy.  I reminded her when she was sick with the stomach flu this winter and that she got to sleep with Mommy then.  Ruby nodded her head, said, "okay," and went to her bed.

A side not here....I use to have a strict no kid policy sleeping in our bed.  Hayden did not sleep with us until this past fall.  After years of him not wanting anything to do with us cuddling, hugging, or affection I was completely okay with him wanting to cuddle with Mommy at night. 

Ruby amazes me every day at how much she understands what is going on with Hayden.  The love I have for her is different from Hayden, but equally amazing.  I am excited to start homeschooling her and look forward to spending even more focused time with her.

Ruby's big work right now is learning how to use her demanding attitude in a positive manor.  She is making great progress :)  Her favorite person is Grammie (she sneaks her chocolate).  Ruby has a blue dog that you sit on and bounce up and down on.  She enjoys pretend taking care of it and has even given the dog a time out.  Ruby also enjoys playing "puppy".  She crawls around like a dog, follows commands.  My personal favorite is when she wags her tail.  Ruby also has a strong sense for fashion.  She dresses herself completely and picks out her outfits.  Ruby helps with the laundry and is now responsible for putting away all of her own laundry.




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