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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Pieces of Us: We are not going to make my initial goal........

Pieces of Us: We are not going to make my initial goal........: When we started down the biomedical road of Hayden's recovery from autism my goal was to have him recovered before Kindergarten.  Well, Hayd...

We are not going to make my initial goal........

When we started down the biomedical road of Hayden's recovery from autism my goal was to have him recovered before Kindergarten.  Well, Hayden turns 5 years old in July and is due to start Kindergarten in the fall.  The thing is I am completely okay with not meeting this goal, in fact I have not thought about this goal since we started The Son-Rise Program almost 9 months ago.
My original goal to recover Hayden prior to Kindergarten has no value to me anymore.  The truth is I am perfectly happy with where we are at in life.  If Hayden chooses not to progress this day forward I will still love and value him the same.  I don't NEED him to recover from autism......I WANT him to recover from autism.

A very wise man taught me what a huge difference there is between "wanting" and "needing" things in life.  When you need things you are setting yourself up for disappointment or unhappiness when they don't happen.  When you want things you are working towards getting them and if you get what you want great and if you don't get what you want that is great too.  You have the power to choose your happiness, no one else does. YOU are responsible for your own happiness.  You can always have fun with whatever you are doing.

I view daily chores in a whole new light since starting Son-Rise.  I no longer view laundry as a negative, time consuming task.  I am actually excited to wash our clothes and put them away.  How great is it that I have a washer and dryer in my home?  How fabulous is it that I get to wear clean smelling clothes every day?  It is great that I have the ability to wash my own clothes!!  It's AWESOME!!!

I love and accept Hayden just the way he is.  It is his choice to recover himself from autism.  It is my choice to give him every tool possible to help him along the way :)  The love I have for Hayden takes my breath away.....he is a pure, amazing , wonderful, full of life, and has this undescribable spark to him.

I write a letter to the kids every year on their birthday's and put in in their baby books for when they are older.  I am so excited to write Hayden's this year!!  Age 4 has been a big, big year for our family!!

It's your choice to be happy :)


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Pieces of Us: What about Ruby??

Pieces of Us: What about Ruby??: I often get questioned about how Ruby deals with Hayden getting a great deal of attention.  When I was pregnant with Ruby I often questioned...

What about Ruby??

I often get questioned about how Ruby deals with Hayden getting a great deal of attention.  When I was pregnant with Ruby I often questioned if having another child was the best decision and what kind of impact would it have on Hayden.  I put way to much energy and time making myself upset over something so silly.

The truth is having Ruby is one the best things that has ever happened to any of us.  She truly is a ray of sunshine that makes us all laugh, smile, and shake our heads.  You just never know what is going to come out of my very direct, speaks her mind, sweet little girl's mouth.

In a very dark moment in motherhood for me she showed me that I am not a failure as a parent.  Ruby is the best little sister to Hayden.  She is patient and understanding.  Ruby joins him in his activities and invites him to play with her.  Ruby also models how amazing it is to be able to communicate verbally.  She is an excellent mentor to him and loves him with all of her heart.  I can't even tell you how incredible it is to watch my children play together.  Their favorite game is wrestling.  They roll around on the floor tackling one another laughing the entire time.

When we first started Hayden's Son-Rise program I was concerned that Ruby would feel left out and not get the attention that she deserves.  My concerns couldn't be farther from the truth.  Ruby has special friends that come and play with her while I work with Hayden.  When Hayden is in the therapy room with his team Ruby gets one to one Mommy or Daddy time.  I feel that she gets more focused time now.

There have been a few times that she has become upset that Ba-Ba (Hayden) gets to play in the therapy room and she does not.  I tell her that Ba-Ba is sick and needs the extra help.  I also let her know how great it is that she is healthy and does not need the extra help.  Ruby is usually fine with that answer and we go on and play or she helps me with house work.  A couple of nights ago Ruby got up after Hayden went to sleep and she seen that he was asleep in my bed.

Ruby asked to sleep with me too.  I took a breath and told Ruby that she is a big, healthy girl so I want her to sleep in her bed.  She looked at me.  I then told Ruby that Ba-Ba is sick and that is why he gets to sleep with Mommy.  I reminded her when she was sick with the stomach flu this winter and that she got to sleep with Mommy then.  Ruby nodded her head, said, "okay," and went to her bed.

A side not here....I use to have a strict no kid policy sleeping in our bed.  Hayden did not sleep with us until this past fall.  After years of him not wanting anything to do with us cuddling, hugging, or affection I was completely okay with him wanting to cuddle with Mommy at night. 

Ruby amazes me every day at how much she understands what is going on with Hayden.  The love I have for her is different from Hayden, but equally amazing.  I am excited to start homeschooling her and look forward to spending even more focused time with her.

Ruby's big work right now is learning how to use her demanding attitude in a positive manor.  She is making great progress :)  Her favorite person is Grammie (she sneaks her chocolate).  Ruby has a blue dog that you sit on and bounce up and down on.  She enjoys pretend taking care of it and has even given the dog a time out.  Ruby also enjoys playing "puppy".  She crawls around like a dog, follows commands.  My personal favorite is when she wags her tail.  Ruby also has a strong sense for fashion.  She dresses herself completely and picks out her outfits.  Ruby helps with the laundry and is now responsible for putting away all of her own laundry.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

10 meatballs at 5am :)

Ahh.....I am breathing, breaths of relief.  We are rapping up our first week on GAPS Introduction diet stage one.  We are starting stage two today :)

I must say the first four days on this diet we hardcore for the kids.  They choose not to eat any of the food I prepared.  They were lethargic, pale, pitiful, and vomiting in the mornings.  I did my best to comfort them and keep them well hydrated with water.  I offered them all the GAPS legal foods, loved them, and stayed positive.  I knew in my mind that it had to get worse before it was going to better.  I must say though it was brutal seeing my babies like that!!

I had to work during this process and it was completely heart wrenching to leave them during this time.  I called to check on them Sunday and my husband made me feel like the kids were on their death beds.  I left work emergently.  I was so upset that I got lost on my way home and wound up in Grabill.  I think this was God's way of telling me to take a breath and chill.

I got home and the kids were pretty much in the same state that I left them.  This was day three of eating nothing.  I made the decision to juice a green apple for them to get some carbs in them (at the suggestion of a great friend).  I also mixed some vitamins into the juice.  Ruby perked up in about 30 minutes and started to eat.  Hayden regained some color but it took him about 4 hours before he really started moving around again.

I did an hour of hyperbaric oxygen with them, gave them each a syringe full of chicken broth (which they did not want), and all three of us took an epsom salt bath for about 40 minutes.

We got out of the bath and the kids were ready to EAT and have not stopped since :)  Grammie made so meatballs that had carrots and onions shredded in them and that has been the staple food for both kids.  Ruby is eating pretty much what I put in front of her now, but Hayden is only eating meatballs.  Little does he know what Mommy is putting in his super meatballs.

Here is a list of what I put in his meatballs: fresh garlic, onion, broccoli, cauliflower, liver, carrots, squash, beef fat, chicken fat, and today I heated them up with some homemade ghee.  I don't but all of this stuff in at once.  I rotate to make sure Hayden is getting all that he needs.

He ate 3 pounds of meatballs yesterday!!!  Woot...Woot...Woot!!  This morning he woke up at 5 am because he was hungry and wanted meatballs.  So at 5am Brandon and myself cheered Hayden on as he ate 10 meatballs.  The amazing thing is that Hayden sat completely still while eating his meatballs, gave us typical eye contact, and talked to us while eating.

Although we are only a week into GAPS I am seeing HUGE changes in Hayden.  He appears to be so calm, peaceful, and relaxed.  It's kind of strange to see this out of him.  I am so use to him zipping around the house every moment of the day.  Hayden seems now calm enough that he is really seeing things differently.  He had one of Ruby's Dora dolls this morning and was really looking her over and telling me about the dolls details.  For example, "Dora has bracelet on."  I don't feel like he say these details before unless it was on his CARS.

The next BIG, BIG, BIG change that I am totally loving drum roll please..........Hayden is sleeping 11-12 hours a night vs 8-9 hours that he use to sleep.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that he is sleeping well again :)

I am feeling pretty good on the diet and don't have any issues to report.  I did have a pretty bad headache the first couple of days.  I think this was due to sugar and caffeine withdrawal.  I feel pretty energized now.

We are moving on to Stage 2 of GAPS Introduction diet.  Bring on the Ghee, egg yolks, and fermented vegetables!!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Our new diet.....GAPS :)

I have been thinking, researching, and talking to people about the GAPS diet for the past 8 months.  I finally worked up enough courage to start the diet.  We officially started the GAPS Introduction diet May 2nd 2012.

You are probably wondering what the GAPS diet is refined sugar free, lactose free, and grain free.  The diet is done in phases based on how you are feeling and what your stools are looking like.   Here is a link for more information about GAPS:

Hayden has been on a very strict diet for the past two years and has made great improvement both mentally and physically but he still has a lot of ups and downs in his behavior and I feel that it is diet based.  Basically we just eliminated foods that he was sensitive to and allowed him to eat what we thought was healthy.

I use to let Hayden eat organic fruit with out any question.  I thought I was feeding him the best nutrition out there.  I was SUPER wrong.  Yes fresh fruit is better than chowing down a candy bar but, it is still loaded with sugar.

Sugar is an absolute enemy to Hayden's sick little body.  He has a huge problem with yeast over growth and what does yeast feed off of???  Yep, you guessed it sugar!!  In order to kill the yeast we have to make their environment in Hayden's body less then ideal.  That means getting rid of all sugar.  Which also means getting rid of all grains.  Grains (carbohydrates) when broken down by the body become sugar.

The GAPS diet will heal Hayden's gastrointestinal tract and all his food sensitivities will be healed.  I predict that we will be on GAPS for 2-3 years.  I am not in a hurry and want to make sure that we take our time and do the diet properly.

I have committed to this diet with Hayden and Ruby will eat it while she is home.  Brandon will eat the diet when he is home with the exception of having pop and cereal.  Which he eats the cereal in the garage and I have asked him to hide the cereal so I am not tempted by it.

I have not ate chocolate or consumed coffee for three days now.  I thought I was going to have a hard time giving up chocolate and coffee but I feel pretty good.  I don't even have a headache today and have my normal amount of energy :)  The kids on the other hand are not feeling so well.

Hayden has woken up the past two days vomiting (a normal reaction to starting the diet) and Ruby joined him vomiting at 5am today.  Hayden and Ruby are both pale today and just want to lay around.  I keep remind myself that I am doing this to help Hayden become healthier and to give him every opportunity in life.  It is harder than I thought to see my kids like this :(

What are we eating???   We are eating cooked broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, squash, garlic, onion, chicken, beef, and lots of broth.  That is seriously it!!  I have made some yummy squash soup and hamburgers that I simmered in chicken stock with cauliflower and squash.  Once the hamburgers were cooked I removed the chicken stock, cauliflower, carrots, and I purred them.  I poured the puree over the top of the hamburgers and it was yummy!

I have been making everything from scratch.  We are eating NO processed foods.  I will be making my own yogurt once I get some raw milk which I found a source to get it.  I am also fermenting foods.  This is a new concept to me and honestly kind of grosses me out.  Fermented vegetables are a great source to restore good bacteria into your gut.

I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing.  I just hope my kids eat soon!!