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Monday, June 11, 2012

It's Up to Hayden to Recover Himself from Autism

The first book I ever read about autism was written by Jenny McCarthy.  The book was funny and is what "guided" me down the biomedical path.  In her book a phrase really clicked in my mind.  Having a child with autism is like having a child trapped in a house.  It is our job to open the window and pull that child out.  I remember when I reading that book I developed the mantra that not only was I going to open the window in Hayden's world of autism, I was going to blow the roof and side of the house off.

I remember thinking that I was going to beat the hell out of Hayden's autism and take my son back.  I was hurt and pissed that MY child had autism.  I was not going to let autism win and keep my son.  I seriously didn't sleep for weeks at a time so I could research and learn as much about autism and treating it as I could.  I never stopped researching and searching for a "cure"up until about a 7 weeks ago.

With the help from The Son-Rise program, mainly Bears I have come to the conclusion that it is up to Hayden to recover himself from autism.  Does that mean I am going to sit back and watch......NO!  My role in Hayden's recovery is to give him the tools he needs to recover from autism.  So what is in Hayden's Tool Box of Recovery:

  1. The Son-Rise way of life.  
    1. I am showing him that I love and respect him just the way he is.  I don't want to change Hayden, I want Hayden to be who he WANTS to be.
    2. Model and show Hayden how super wonderful and fun people are.  Show him that we are helpful and don't want to control him.
    3. Give Hayden the Control  (I have been struggling with this one a bit, but I am getting there)
  2. The proper diet to heal his sick body.
    1. GAPS is our diet of choice.  Hayden eats NO refined sugar, NO lactose, and NO grains.
    2. This is not an elimination diet.  It actually heals the body.  Hayden has gained 9 pounds since starting this diet 6 weeks ago :)
  3. Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy
    1. To reduce oxidative stress
    2. Aid in detoxification
    3. Decrease inflammation
  4. Vitamins
    1. This gives Hayden extra doses of vitamins that are difficult for Hayden's body to get enough of.  We are actually phasing a lot of his vitamins and supplements out now that he is eating a much healthier diet.  We were up to 24 different vitamins a day and now we are down to 10.

What a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions I have been on for the past 2.5 years since I diagnosed Hayden.  For the first time I am at complete and total peace with where we are at and where we are going.  I feel such a huge relief knowing that Hayden has to recover himself from autism.  He has to WANT to be present in our world.  There is no forcing this on him.  I have to tell you that I see that fire and sparkle in his eye.  Hayden WANTS to recovery himself and is working so hard.

A good analogy would be learning to swimming.  Every time you swim you swim out a little deeper or let go a little longer.  Sometimes you realize that no one is holding on and you are fearful and clutch to the side of the pool.  Other days you take a running jump off the diving board.  Once you let go of your fears and trust yourself and your teacher you are swimming like a pro.

That is what my little Hayden is doing every day.  He reaches out a little farther.  He says a longer sentence, he tantrums less, he gives longer eye contact.  Then there are days that something happens and he stays in his "autism house of safety".  Sooner or later he comes around and reaches out a little further.

I have to say this again.....I LOVE AND ACCEPT MY SON JUST THE WAY HE IS.  I see him for who he is and not what he has.  With out a doubt the coolest person I have ever met.  I am in this for the long run and will not stop equipping Hayden with every tool he needs until he is 100% recovered from autism.  When he does recover himself there is going to be one hell of a party.


Monday, June 4, 2012

Pieces of Us: Blessed in So Many Ways

Pieces of Us: Blessed in So Many Ways: Today was one of those days that showed me just how far we have come with Hayden.  He is just an amazing person that has over come so much a...

Blessed in So Many Ways

Today was one of those days that showed me just how far we have come with Hayden.  He is just an amazing person that has over come so much and continues to teach me how to live life to the fullest.

Brandon and I took Hayden to have his blood drawn to find what materials are safest to use in the fillings he needs in his teeth.  I was nervous about taking him for the blood draw.  I kept telling myself why we were getting the blood drawn and that I wanted to be strong for Hayden.

We pull into the parking lot and Hayden begins to cry.  I don't like putting him through this and I am grateful that he no longer needs routine blood draws.  We get out of the truck and walk inside.  I am carrying Hayden squeezing him tight and telling him that it will be okay.  I tell him that we are going to get the blood drawn, it will be a little pinch, and we will be all done and leave.

Once we got inside Hayden calmed down and walked to the waiting area.  The hospital was busy today and we had to wait 45 minutes before it was our turn to go back.  The waiting room was packed, the TV was blaring, and the room was loud with people moving in and out.  Hayden did great!!  He sat in his chair and looked around the room for some time.  When people talked to him he looked at them.  Hayden got up and played with the bead maze appropriately in a calm manner.  At one point he started to climb on top of the bead maze.  I went over and calmly told Hayden, "You can get down so you don't get hurt or you can come and sit with Mommy."  Much to my surprise  Hayden choose to come and sit with me with out even a whimper.

It was our turn to go back and Hayden got upset.  I totally understand.  He has been through getting his blood drawn at this location several times.  It usually takes at least 3 sticks to get his blood.  Hayden is a horrible stick and has freakish strength when getting his blood drawn.

We get to the room.  I lay Hayden down on the table, we wrap him up, I lay over the top of him and hold him tight.  I talked to him and sing songs to him the entire time.  During Hayden's screaming I told him that we are going to go shopping after we left.  He instantly calmed down and said, "shopping."  That seemed to be the magic word to say and everyone laughed.  It felt like it took about 3 hours, but I think it was more like 10 minutes.  It seems every time that we have Hayden's blood drawn it gets harder and harder on me.   It only took two sticks and we were done and it was time to go.  Hayden even went into another room to get stickers.  He looked the nurse in the eye while she was talking to him and answered her questions.  I was so proud of Hayden!!  To have someone hold you down and draw your blood and still communicate with them......AMAZING!!

 I kept it together while they were drawing blood but when we walked out I began to loose it.  I don't want to put my son through this.  It also made me think of what is to come.  We are one step further to actually getting his teeth fixed.  I am so nervous about putting anything foreign into his body and Hayden going under general anesthesia.  I don't want to loose my little man again.  We have come so far.

We went to the store and let Hayden pick out his new toy.  He looked them all over and decided on ONE toy and walked to the check out lane with out any issues.

Hayden has been in a great mood the rest of the day.  He played in the pond with my parents 150 lbs English mastiff, Daisy.  They had so much fun playing together.  Daisy would charge past Hayden.  Hayden was pelted with sand and it created waves.  He was laughing and smiling.  He was talking to Daisy and telling her what to do.  Hayden even listened when I told him he was going to far in the water.  He would either turn around or stay in the same place.

Ruby and Hayden were throwing rocks in the pond and Ruby dropped her rock.  With out any prompting Hayden picked up the rock she dropped and gave it to Ruby.  Ruby said, "Thank You Ba Ba."  Hayden said, "Your welcome....come on."

Today was an awesome reminder of just how far we have come.  There was a day that I didn't even think that Hayden heard what I was saying nor did he even know I was in the same room.  Today he is following directions, helping his sister, smiling, laughing, and the best of all giving me 3 million kisses a day :)

Friday, June 1, 2012

Pieces of Us: Ups and downs and all around!!

Pieces of Us: Ups and downs and all around!!: We have had an interesting week :)  We have added whole eggs to our diet and introduced "pancakes" today.  I have to report that the pancake...

Ups and downs and all around!!

We have had an interesting week :)  We have added whole eggs to our diet and introduced "pancakes" today.  I have to report that the pancakes were super yummy and easy to make.  Here is the recipe if you are interested:

Melt a tablespoon of ghee in skillet over medium heat

1/4 cups butternut squash
1 cup walnuts
2 whole eggs

I pureed all ingredients in my Vitamix.  Pour the batter into small pancakes and cook like you would a normal pancake.  These were fabulous!!

We also increased the dose of biotic silver we are using to combat Hayden's yeast issue and increased the amount of probiotics.  We are almost done with the yeast protocol!!  I am going to leave Hayden on the biotic silver for at least 3 more weeks or until his dental work is done.  The probiotics he will continue to take for at least six more months.

Since we started Hayden's recovery from autism journey two years ago there has been a lot ups and downs in his behavior and mood.  When we started GAPS four weeks ago his behavior as pretty much been consistent and only progress has been seen.  Normally when Hayden is showing signs of regression I begin the freak out process of "what the heck is causing this" and "holy crap...what am I going to do."  This time not so much.

I feel this is because I totally and completely accept Hayden just the way he is.  I don't need him to recovery from autism.  I want him too!   On rough days I can still choose to be happy and go with the flow of the day.  This week was no exception to that.

It also helped that I knew in my heart that Hayden was stimming more and was more agitated because of the increase in the biotic silver.  We started the biotic silver in December and every time we increase the dose Hayden seems to regress a bit.

I am happy to report that Hayden seems to be back to his normal self.  We had a great therapy session tonight.  Prior to the therapy session Hayden played ring around the rosie and hide and seek with Ruby and I.  He is back to talking, giving great eye contact, and seems to be relaxed.

Oh, how I love my little boy :)

Hayden and Ruby painting

Gotta love the swing set

When God gives you rain splash is water puddles :)

Hayden's new playroom accessory :)

Ruby joining Hayden with legos.....going to have to work on her positioning!

What is not to love about a kiddie pool?