I remember thinking that I was going to beat the hell out of Hayden's autism and take my son back. I was hurt and pissed that MY child had autism. I was not going to let autism win and keep my son. I seriously didn't sleep for weeks at a time so I could research and learn as much about autism and treating it as I could. I never stopped researching and searching for a "cure"up until about a 7 weeks ago.
With the help from The Son-Rise program, mainly Bears I have come to the conclusion that it is up to Hayden to recover himself from autism. Does that mean I am going to sit back and watch......NO! My role in Hayden's recovery is to give him the tools he needs to recover from autism. So what is in Hayden's Tool Box of Recovery:
- The Son-Rise way of life.
- I am showing him that I love and respect him just the way he is. I don't want to change Hayden, I want Hayden to be who he WANTS to be.
- Model and show Hayden how super wonderful and fun people are. Show him that we are helpful and don't want to control him.
- Give Hayden the Control (I have been struggling with this one a bit, but I am getting there)
- The proper diet to heal his sick body.
- GAPS is our diet of choice. Hayden eats NO refined sugar, NO lactose, and NO grains.
- This is not an elimination diet. It actually heals the body. Hayden has gained 9 pounds since starting this diet 6 weeks ago :)
- Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy
- To reduce oxidative stress
- Aid in detoxification
- Decrease inflammation
- This gives Hayden extra doses of vitamins that are difficult for Hayden's body to get enough of. We are actually phasing a lot of his vitamins and supplements out now that he is eating a much healthier diet. We were up to 24 different vitamins a day and now we are down to 10.
What a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions I have been on for the past 2.5 years since I diagnosed Hayden. For the first time I am at complete and total peace with where we are at and where we are going. I feel such a huge relief knowing that Hayden has to recover himself from autism. He has to WANT to be present in our world. There is no forcing this on him. I have to tell you that I see that fire and sparkle in his eye. Hayden WANTS to recovery himself and is working so hard.
A good analogy would be learning to swimming. Every time you swim you swim out a little deeper or let go a little longer. Sometimes you realize that no one is holding on and you are fearful and clutch to the side of the pool. Other days you take a running jump off the diving board. Once you let go of your fears and trust yourself and your teacher you are swimming like a pro.
That is what my little Hayden is doing every day. He reaches out a little farther. He says a longer sentence, he tantrums less, he gives longer eye contact. Then there are days that something happens and he stays in his "autism house of safety". Sooner or later he comes around and reaches out a little further.
I have to say this again.....I LOVE AND ACCEPT MY SON JUST THE WAY HE IS. I see him for who he is and not what he has. With out a doubt the coolest person I have ever met. I am in this for the long run and will not stop equipping Hayden with every tool he needs until he is 100% recovered from autism. When he does recover himself there is going to be one hell of a party.