Blessed in So Many Ways

Today was one of those days that showed me just how far we have come with Hayden.  He is just an amazing person that has over come so much and continues to teach me how to live life to the fullest.

Brandon and I took Hayden to have his blood drawn to find what materials are safest to use in the fillings he needs in his teeth.  I was nervous about taking him for the blood draw.  I kept telling myself why we were getting the blood drawn and that I wanted to be strong for Hayden.

We pull into the parking lot and Hayden begins to cry.  I don't like putting him through this and I am grateful that he no longer needs routine blood draws.  We get out of the truck and walk inside.  I am carrying Hayden squeezing him tight and telling him that it will be okay.  I tell him that we are going to get the blood drawn, it will be a little pinch, and we will be all done and leave.

Once we got inside Hayden calmed down and walked to the waiting area.  The hospital was busy today and we had to wait 45 minutes before it was our turn to go back.  The waiting room was packed, the TV was blaring, and the room was loud with people moving in and out.  Hayden did great!!  He sat in his chair and looked around the room for some time.  When people talked to him he looked at them.  Hayden got up and played with the bead maze appropriately in a calm manner.  At one point he started to climb on top of the bead maze.  I went over and calmly told Hayden, "You can get down so you don't get hurt or you can come and sit with Mommy."  Much to my surprise  Hayden choose to come and sit with me with out even a whimper.

It was our turn to go back and Hayden got upset.  I totally understand.  He has been through getting his blood drawn at this location several times.  It usually takes at least 3 sticks to get his blood.  Hayden is a horrible stick and has freakish strength when getting his blood drawn.

We get to the room.  I lay Hayden down on the table, we wrap him up, I lay over the top of him and hold him tight.  I talked to him and sing songs to him the entire time.  During Hayden's screaming I told him that we are going to go shopping after we left.  He instantly calmed down and said, "shopping."  That seemed to be the magic word to say and everyone laughed.  It felt like it took about 3 hours, but I think it was more like 10 minutes.  It seems every time that we have Hayden's blood drawn it gets harder and harder on me.   It only took two sticks and we were done and it was time to go.  Hayden even went into another room to get stickers.  He looked the nurse in the eye while she was talking to him and answered her questions.  I was so proud of Hayden!!  To have someone hold you down and draw your blood and still communicate with them......AMAZING!!

 I kept it together while they were drawing blood but when we walked out I began to loose it.  I don't want to put my son through this.  It also made me think of what is to come.  We are one step further to actually getting his teeth fixed.  I am so nervous about putting anything foreign into his body and Hayden going under general anesthesia.  I don't want to loose my little man again.  We have come so far.

We went to the store and let Hayden pick out his new toy.  He looked them all over and decided on ONE toy and walked to the check out lane with out any issues.

Hayden has been in a great mood the rest of the day.  He played in the pond with my parents 150 lbs English mastiff, Daisy.  They had so much fun playing together.  Daisy would charge past Hayden.  Hayden was pelted with sand and it created waves.  He was laughing and smiling.  He was talking to Daisy and telling her what to do.  Hayden even listened when I told him he was going to far in the water.  He would either turn around or stay in the same place.

Ruby and Hayden were throwing rocks in the pond and Ruby dropped her rock.  With out any prompting Hayden picked up the rock she dropped and gave it to Ruby.  Ruby said, "Thank You Ba Ba."  Hayden said, "Your welcome....come on."

Today was an awesome reminder of just how far we have come.  There was a day that I didn't even think that Hayden heard what I was saying nor did he even know I was in the same room.  Today he is following directions, helping his sister, smiling, laughing, and the best of all giving me 3 million kisses a day :)

Food For Thought....On My Way to Maximum Impact

I am sitting at the airport in Atlanta, Georgia as I type this.  I am not sure why I am in Atlanta if I am from Indiana and headed Massachusetts.  Even the directionally challenged person that I am knows that I went south to end up north.  The direction that I wend doesn’t matter, all that matters is that I get to where I am going.

My journey to the Autism Treatment Center of America reminds me of our journey with autism.  I would love for Hayden’s recovery from autism to be start at point A and end at point B with a straight line going up instead of down.  Hayden’s recovery from autism has been and will continue to be a line that goes up, down, around, twists, ties, and jumps all over the place.  Time has proven with Hayden that we take ten steps forward we take two steps back.

I am hoping this week at Maximum Impact that I will be able to truly 100% be able to accept the ups and downs and let go of my fears. Saying that I am excited to be headed back to Autism Treatment Center of America is a massive understatement.

I am trying so hard to accept the ups and downs of his recovery from autism.  This has been a true struggle with me.  I don’t want to see him move backwards, only forwards.  I fear that I will “loose” him again.  This place is like no other place I have been.  The energy that is present is pure and judgement free.  I get to be surrounded by others that understand and live what I am going through.  These wonderful people don’t judge, they love and accept.  I will get to celebrate Hayden’s autism and all the gifts that he has give us.