Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Day of Upset and Thinking about what I WANT

Today has been one of those days that I am putting behind me and moving forward.  It started out like a normal day  I got up made fresh pressed juice and waffles for the kids and I (Brandon prefers to eat processed crap).  I cleaned up the kitchen, helped Brandon get the kids ready for the day, and sent Hayden off to the playroom.

Ruby and I headed to the gym for me to work out and Ruby to play in the child watch.  We then went to story time at the library.  Ruby loves story time and today she made a crown to wear.  We stopped for a coffee for me on the way home :)

I got home and observed our team member working with Hayden for a bit and got in the shower.  I realized that Brandon would not be done mowing so the decision was made that Ruby and I would go in the playroom and have our team member fill out a session evaluation form.

I go into the playroom to relieve the team member and she says, "I need to talk to you."  Great....I remained as calm as possible but at this point I was already agitated that I had to take Ruby in the playroom to work with Hayden.  This is not the most effective way to work with Hayden.

Good news is our beloved team member is not quitting or reducing hours.  She just wants to change her hours.  The change is for a excellent reason and I am so HAPPY for her and her family :)  I made myself a crazy emotional mess for a few hours thinking about how this will impact my family and Hayden's program.  What I was doing was making assumptions and judgements when I really don't know what is going to happen.

The truth is whatever happens, happens.  I can not control it, I can not change it.  What I can do is choose to be happy and embrace whatever the outcome is.  Regardless of what happens Hayden will still recover from autism.  We will continue Hayden's Son-Rise Program.  For a brief moment today I was enticed by how much easier my life would be if I just sent Hayden to school and stopped his program.

The truth is right now I am tired and run down.  I have been sick for a week now and I am just DONE. I want to get back to a routine.

I have decided to give our externship one more attempt before looking into other options. Our new student is set to start the end of October.  I am going to change the hours of the externship, make some new rules and guidelines, and only have one student at a time.

I want to start having team meetings.  Yes, all of my Son-Rise friends we are still not having team meetings.  I have decided on a day and time.  I will inform all team members this week.  Mainly because I am tired and this is one more thing to add to my to do list.

I have also decided that I want more help with Hayden's Son-Rise Program.  I want someone else to help me give feedback, provide motivation, and give me a break from time to time.

I also want to make new flyers to recruit volunteers, call the local newspaper, and give a presentation to the local autism support group.

I am working hard and will continue to work hard at not letting others un happiness or actions effect me. I am going to continue to be the best person I can be.

In 30 minutes my sweet babies will be in bed and I am taking a nice hot detox bath and reading a great book.

HuGS  to everyone,
Brandi

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