Well, any of you that know me knows that I am not "normal" ;) I am just me...I laugh at things that are not funny, and say the most random things. I eat strange foods and do strange things with my kids.
Today Ruby had her two year old well baby check up at the new pediatrician's office. I was excited to see how much she has grown and to show off my amazing little girl.
We got up today and I was excited to dress up my little girl for our big day out together. Ruby wore tights, denim skirt, panda shirt, a striped cardigan, and her brown boots. I fixed her hair just so. I must say she was looking super cute :) I even fixed my hair and did my makeup.
Off we went. On the way to the doctors office. I thought of the questions that they were going to ask me about her development. I smiled as I thought of the answers. All of my answers pointed to a perfectly normal, healthy, thriving little girl. What a gift my little Ruby is. She truly amazes me every day.
We arrive at the doctors office and we walk in together. Ruby stays right with me and is happy to have Mommy all to her self for her big girl check up. We are chatting away about all the things she is seeing. We sign in at the desk. Ruby is calm and smiling. She takes her coat off and throws it on the floor. I ask her to pick her coat up and hand it to me and she does. Ahhh......success, my child is doing what I asked of her and not trantruming on the floor.
We sit in the office and Ruby points to the pictures of animals on the wall. I pick her up and we walk around look at all the animals. Ruby is telling me what they are and making the sounds of what they make. The secretary complements me on what a smart and well behaved little girl I have. I stand a little taller. A little boy drops his toy in the waiting room and Ruby picks it up and hands it to him. Check, Ruby has compassion for others.
It is then our turn. Ruby jumps up when she hears her name and heads towards the nurse. She smiles at the nurse and says "hi". The nurse weighs Ruby and measures how tall she is. Ruby is 27lbs (50%) and 37 inches tall (75%). The nurse asks me the developmental questions......which I am super eager to answer!!!
I know that Ruby is right on target and this makes me feel like I am doing something right. That my child is "normal" so I get to be "normal" Ruby is right on developmentally (which I already knew that, it just feels good for someone else to acknowledge that).
The nurse practitioner comes and does her assessment on Ruby. Ruby opens her mouth and lets her look in, she turns her head to let her look in her ears, she sits still to have her heart and lungs listened to. Ruby even asked to have her mouth looked at again. At this point I don't believe what is going on!!!! That's right people my child is well behaved and I am an awesome mom to a normal child. I feel like I just won the lottery!!
The NP then asks some questions about Ruby's health history and vaccination history. I proudly speak up and say that Ruby has only had the stomach flu and a cold. She has NEVER been on antibiotics and has never had an ear infection. I then take a breath to share that Ruby is NOT vaccinated. I told her that I am going to re-evaluate my vaccination decision for Ruby when she turns three.
Her response was great!! She asked me why I was going about Ruby's vaccinations this way and when I told her she listened. She then told me she supported my decisions as a parents. WOW!!! Woot....woot...woot!!!!! I think we have finally found the pediatrician's office that we are going to stick with.
The NP tells us that everything looks great and that Ruby does not need to be seen for another year. I help Ruby get dressed and he head to the check out desk. Ruby didn't want to leave. She said, "I stay."
As we were checking out I seen a stack of brochures. One of the stack of brochures was about what to do when your child is diagnosed with. SMACK....there went my morning of pretending to be normal!!!
Seeing the brochures quickly brought back to my mind all of the things that I felt and feared when I first suspected that Hayden was autistic. It also brought up the list of things that I was told he would never do and what to expect. It reminded me of what trips to the pediatrician were like with Hayden. I can't even put into words how it feels to have your child to be chronically ill and to have a disability. It use to break my heart to take him to the doctor. I didn't want to hear what he was not doing......I already knew it. I didn't want to be the person that everyone started at because my child was on the floor screaming or doing odd things with his cars.
I just wanted to be normal and to have a normal, healthy child!!!
I am beyond great full that todays events made me realize that being normal doesn't matter, it doesn't make me a good mom or a bad mom, it doesn't define who I am. Those brochures were placed on that desk to seriously smack me in the face and say, "Hey...it is what it is." Be true to yourself!!
Yes, I have a neuro-typical child and a non-neuro-typical child. We do strange things. We have a slide in our living room, a swing in our hallway, and trampoline in our kitchen. I am a crazy person when it come to my children's health. I know every ingredient in every bite of food that my child eats. I am a warrior for my children and will never give up on them.
So I say screw NORMAL :) I love my family and myself just they way we are and I don't want to pretend to be something or someone that I am not.
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