Thankful for My family :)

This Thanksgiving I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have two children that are happy and thriving, a husband that I love and adore 90% of the time, and a large support system.

Notice I only said 90% of the time that I love and adore him.  The other 10% is generally when I have PMS and during that time I can not stand him.  Yes, I am a women and I am owning the fact that PMS makes me slightly (or a hole lot) crazy.  All jokes aside Brandon is my rock.  He is completely on board with helping Hayden.  Brandon centers me when I need centered, makes me laugh when I am ready to rip some one's face off, and loves me for who I am.  I miss him!!  It is hard working opposite shifts from one another.  It is what is best for our kids and I know that this is only temporary.  I am beyond grateful for the time we had together before we had children.  With out that time I know our marriage would fall apart with all the challenges we face.  Did you know that 90% of married couples with autistic children become divorced??  We are part of the 10% that will stay together :)  Yes, Brandon Hicks you are stuck with me for life!!

My sweet, easy going little girl has recently developed an attitude.  I SUCK at discipline!!  Yes, I Brandi Hicks SUCK at discipline.  I am beyond grateful that my little Ruby can tell me no and say, "Don't touch me," that I have a hard time correcting her.  I just want to celebrate that she can express herself.  I know this is wrong and I have been working on correcting her, re-directing her, and using time outs.  I will get better at discipline, I will get better at discipline, I will get better at discipline.

Ruby is my mini-me.  She acts like me, she talks like me, and looks like.  I love her more than I ever thought possible.  I have to say that I am having a lot of Mommy guilt lately towards her.  Hayden requires a lot of my time and I feel that Ruby gets the short end of the stick.  I know that Hayden needs me more, but I don't want Ruby to feel left out or that she is less important.  It is so hard on her to watch us in the play room with Hayden.  I am looking forward to this semester of teaching to come to an end.  I want to be able to take Ruby on a Mommy daughter date once a week.  I also want Brandon to take her on a date once a week too.

I tell Ruby that Hayden is sick and needs a lot of extra help right now.  I also tell her how blessed she is to be healthy and not need extra help.  I am hoping that going through all this Ruby will be a more compassionate, understanding person.  The other side of this is that she could become resentful and hateful towards Hayden and myself.

Hayden is truly thriving right now.  He is happier than he has ever been.  I love seeing him smile and laugh.  I can honestly say that I love working with him in the therapy room.  I love all the things that we do together.

Hayden's language, eye contact, and social skills are growing.  He is playing with friends, he is playing with Ruby, and he wants to know and be a part of what I am doing.  I have to make a confession.  I use to say that my children will NEVER sleep in our bed.  Hayden has been sleeping with us for the last month or so.  At bedtime I don't even try to get him to go to sleep in his room.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that he wants to cuddle in bed with me, he holds my hand, and I sing to him until he falls asleep.  Tonight Hayden looked into my eyes and said, "Night Mommy." He then gave me a kiss and drifted off to sleep.  Melts my heart :)

Hayden has recently took an interest in swimming in the toilets again.  I thought we were over this phase!!      I wish I could figure out why he wants to swim in the toilet.  I was on the phone with a friend this week and I said, "I need to go...Hayden is swimming in the toilet again."  I never thought in a million years that I would say a sentence like that.  The sad thing is that this has become our "normal".  The sticker shock has worn off and my friends and family never seem phased by what they hear or see out of us.

I seriously think my life should be a sitcom.  I think we are a pretty funny group.  I honestly wouldn't trade my life for anything.  I have developed a love for autism.  I can't imagine how boring our lives would be with out it.