The Tantrum of All Tantrums.......and an embarrassed nephew :)

My nephew went with Hayden and I to the dentist last week.  After we finished with the dentist I needed to run into the grocery store quickly to pick up a few items.  Hayden did great at the dentist and generally does well at the store.

I had finished getting everything we needed and we headed to the check out.  Hayden spotted the Disney Cars display and wanted to look at it.  I was fine with that and he had been such a good boy that I told him he could pick out one toy.

He looked over all the shake and go disney cars.  I could tell he was struggling with picking one out so I reminded him that he could get ONE toy.  He looked right at me and said, "NO, two."  He even held up two fingers!!  I was so proud of him and wanted to buy him both but I couldn't afford both.  I told him sorry and that he could only get one.  He again said, NO I want two cars."  He held up two fingers again. I then said, "Hayden we can only get one."  "I know it is hard, but sometimes in life we just don't get what you want," I said to him crouched down on his level.  "We have to learn to be okay with that," I reminded him.  Inside though if I had the money I would have bought him two in a heart beat.  I was so excited and happy that he was telling me exactly what he wanted and looking at me in the eyes to tell me.

At this point a full fledge tantrum erupted.  A tantrum of all tantrums......on the floor kicking and screaming and yelling I want two!!!

My poor nephew had to stand there and be stared at with us.  Normally it does not bother me.  I have become very use to people staring at us for Hayden's behavior or my behavior or my unconventional parenting methods.  However my nephew is not and is at a difficult age for self confidence.  He was a trooper and stood there and waited for us.  I could tell if bothered him but he didn't say one word about it.

Hayden couldn't pick just one car and it was time to leave.  He had a tantrum the whole time I was checking out.  The check out lady was very kind and told me that all kids have tantrums like that and I was doing a good job :)  She told me to smile.  I told her that Hayden is autistic.

I told Hayden it was time to go and if he couldn't pick just one we had to leave with none.   He couldn't pick one so we left with NONE.  I am proud of myself that I stuck with what I said.  I have a hard time doing that with Hayden.  I want to give him EVERYTHING he asks for.  He has come so far and I am so proud of him. I want him to know that he gets results when he asks for things to encourage communication.

When we got home from the store and dentist I got in HBOT with Hayden for an hour.  We both chilled and had quiet time.  During this time I reflected on the tantrum in the grocery store and the dentist visit.  I really thought about what the cashier had said.....that all children act like that.  I blamed Hayden's autism for the tantrum.

You know what it WAS NOT the autism.  Hayden wanted two cars and I told him he could only have one.  It was not the lighting, it was not the people moving around, it was not the noise of the store.  The tantrum was a direct result of not getting what he wanted.  Which is a TANTRUM in a very typical, neuoro typical child kind of thing.

So reflecting back I had a VERY typical child kind of morning with my little man!!!  Way to Go Hayden.....you ROCK my world!!